Finding the Right Relationship Is Like Finding the Right Job

Whether you are looking for a job or a relationship, it only takes one to be happy. It just has to be the right one. As someone who has hired many people through the years, I’ve learned that common job interview questions can be a good guide to help you determine if a potential partner is a good fit.

Interview Question #1: Why do you want this job? The corollary for a relationship is, “Do we have enough in common?” The recruiter wants to know if the candidate has enough interest in or passion for the job. If not, he or she will leave. Likewise, as you get to know the person you’re dating, you want to know if you have shared interests. If you don’t have enough to do or talk about together, one or both of you will want out.

Note: This does not require that you and your partner have exactly the same interests. If he or she enjoys skiing but you do not, you can knit in the lodge during the day and spend the evening together. It boils down to whether you have enough common interests that you enjoy being together.

Interview Question #2: Why do you think you’ll be successful at this job? In both a job and a relationship, you want sufficient opportunity to use your natural preferences and strengths. If your professional or personal situation does not access what you’re good at, and instead requires effort that doesn’t come easily, you won’t be happy. For example, if your partner expects you to spend lots of time in big group social gatherings, but you prefer more one-on-one or alone time, you may be stretched out of your comfort zone more than you want.

Interview Question #3: How will you fit in? Is the organization’s culture conducive to your needs? And will you likely meet the needs of others in the organization? In a relationship, you want to know if your needs are going to be met and also if you can easily meet the needs of your partner. Each of you must be committed to meeting the other’s needs.

Interview Question #4: Do you have the knowledge to do the job? For a relationship, the question becomes, “When there is conflict, do you have the capacity to fight fairly?” Conflict is inevitable, so knowing how to fight fairly is crucial.

During the job interview process, you want to learn if the position will support your career development. During the relationship “interview” process, you’ll want to learn if the relationship will support your journey to being happy, successful, and understood. You must have a clear understanding of your interests, strengths, and needs to reach these important conclusions.

Stay tuned for more articles on relationships.

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