Finding the Right Partner Is Like Finding the Right Job

Romantic relationships can be challenging. You must find the right person and blend your worlds. When it works, it’s incredibly rewarding. Over the next few months, we will explore the intricacies of relationships. To get started, I’d like to share my own story.

It was the 1990s, and I had been dumped by my fiancé. I moped around for months. My hairdresser, tired of my constant complaining, said that if I didn’t do something dramatic to get back on the dating scene, I would have to find a new stylist. That would be worse than finding a new gynecologist. I had to take action.

I placed an ad in the local paper. I got few responses, but at least my hair would be cut. However, my ad ran next to an intriguing 21-line ad. After getting up the nerve to call, I reached this voice recording: “The gentleman who placed this ad would prefer a written response explaining how you satisfy the criteria.”

What? You want an application? Am I applying for a job?

Actually, getting to know a potential romantic partner is much like the job hiring process. You and the employer want to know if your interests and strengths align with the job. And YOU want to know that your work environment will support your needs—that you will be understood.

It is the same in a significant relationship. Do you have enough common interests to enjoy spending time together? Will you get to use your strengths? More importantly, do your strengths align with your partner’s relationship needs? And will this relationship fulfill your own needs and minimize stress? Successful careers and relationships both involve an alignment of interests, strengths, and needs.

In my case, the gentleman who placed the lengthy ad appreciated my sarcastic reply and we ended up getting married. Do your interests, strengths, and needs align with those of your partner? That can determine the long-term success of the relationship.

Stay tuned for articles that explore finding fulfillment in your most significant relationship.